Friday, November 14, 2008

Here is a little update on the age old question of "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! All chickens want change!

SARAH PALIN: I could see the chicken crossing the road from my house.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's' intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hard work ing American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


Sal said...

To get to the big potato bug (jerusalem cricket) on the other side before all my chicken buddies do.

Doug said...

The last one made the rest worth it.

Ariel the Thief said...

I love the last photo!

yellowdog granny said...

chicken of opp. sex on the other side of the road

Tom & Icy said...

That was really good. Took a lot of work and thought. We enjoyed it.

RED MOJO said...

Chicken of the same sex on the other side of the road! ha!

Ernest Hemingway made me laugh out loud.

actonbell said...

PERFECT POST!!!!!!!! This is excellent, Terry. They were all funny. The Hemingway one caught me offguard and gave me a real belly laugh:) Great photos, too.

dr. schitz said...

A list worthy to compete with my very own list that was published as a public service to Netherworld residents recently in The Crappy Times. Only your list is about poultry rather than poop.
There seems to be a lot of talk about poop these days. Why, just recently on Stuffed Animal Planet, Bee Poop was mentioned, and the Cheesemeister happened to mention her faithful reading of The Poop Report in her most recent post. Chickens and poop--it seems that somehow these two things go together nicely!

DJ Kirkby said...

Lol! Just lol!!!! Esp. Dr Suess and KS!

Anonymous said...

our chicken would never cross the road,and just where is miss chickie...XOXO

photowannabe said...

Totally enjoyable post Terry. The answer depends on who you ask I guess...LOL

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Wow! Where did you get all this wonderful chicken material?! I do not know why the chicken crossed the road but I know the hedgehog crossed the road to visit his "flat" mate.

Sherri said...

SHERRI SANDERS: Mmmmm..... Chicken! Hurry up and cross over to my side! (Licking lips, holding fork in one hand, knife in the other.)

Dr.John said...

Didn't know chickens could be so funny. Thanks for sharing.

jillie said...

Wazzzzzzzzzup chicken butt??????


Lily Sheehan said...

I like that (came from BB btw) v. funny post

sheepish said...

Really made me laugh, very clever. Thanks for popping by my blog did you find me via BB? and in answer to your question I got a book on looking after sheep and took it from there.
We have never regretted leaving England although our recent loss has been difficult as we are away from our family. But the positives far outway the negatives.

J.L.CIBILS said...

I liked so much your photographies. When you'll be able, visit my blog to see my photo-jornalism's works. You will find there images of the south of Brazil.

Florianópolis – Santa Catarina – Brasil .

weirsdo said...