I went to the animal fair
The birds and the beasts were there
(NOT... disappointingly there were no poultry or rabbits - only bovine, swine and goat offerings)
The big baboon by the light of the moon
was combing his auburn hair....
The monkey sat "kerplunk"
Right down on the elephant's trunk
The elephant sneezed
And fell on his knees....
And that was the end of the monk the monk the monk the monk....
And that was the end of the monk.
First we visited the obscene food booth which included Crispy Creme doughnut chicken sandwiches and deep fried Twinkies dunked in chocolate... I avoided arterial suicide by abstaining (it was still early)
Then I reveled in a banner which bore my initials... unfortunately I discovered that it stood for Turkey Stampede, which was next.
Some turkeys came out of the little door, ran around the track after a food-bearing little red mechanical truck, and basically made pigs of themselves. Young children were warned over the loudspeaker to "Stay behind the red line, or else you will be taken for a female turkey and attacked"... the young hormonal tom turkeys were only 5-6 months old and were over excitable...
Next were my favorite - the little tiny day-old piglets. The HUGE sows looked as if dead... or as if they wished they were... it was hot and those babies were merciless with their suckling. I don't know why I adore them so much, but I have a feeling it must be because of E.B.White's book "Charlotte's Web", of which I had the entire first chapter memorized as a child. The smell will absolutely SLAY you, even if you love pigs. I can't fathom a worse smell... and as I watched some of the young children come up in the line to hold one, I gagged when a tiny piglet actually let loose all over the front of the kid's shirt... must be my age. I can remember begging my Dad to let me have a piglet growing up. Although we really were "out in the country" in Malibu Canyon he told me we "weren't zoned for pigs" so it was useless. Looking back, I don't know whether to be glad or sad.
This is my only grandson Hunter, holding a quiet little piglet. They gave him a runt because the rest were squirming and squiggling uncontrollably, screaming as though their tails were being cut off.
Next was the milking of the cow... and turning your small vial of milk into butter by shaking it. Nice idea, but the kids were disinterested after a few minutes of shaking, and I surepstitiously threw it away several booths later, after showing him that it had indeed transformed into butter...
I survived climbing this slide, and in fact plopping myself down on the platform and sliding down on a burlap bag after my grandson... I was going to ask the lady who was helping us all onto our bags whether or not anyone had ever gotten stuck halfway down, but I was too embarrassed. I made it all the way to the bottom without incident, much to my great relief!
Last but not least, I (on the right) survived an impromptu water battle, involving my sister, my sweetheart, and several of my nieces and nephews visiting from Albania, and other loved ones, as we positively annihilated each other with powerful streams of water jetted out through the cannons onboard our watercrafts... it was a delightfully cool way to end the day.
2 weeks ago