Wednesday, September 26, 2007


I tried to get away with not putting grief on my blog. I tried, but have failed. Today was my nephew Joshua's 11th birthday. The birthday boy wasnt' here to celebrate... as many of you know he died tragically July 20 after jumping into the swollen Platte River and accidently drowning. I've tended to try to avoid the sadness, and not subject anyone else to the reality by keeping it out of here since the event, but after reading my dear sister Sally's blog about him I just can't help but give in. Sorry to all - if it is too sad, just click. I wish we could all "just click". Make it just go away. Make the tears go away. Make it all just disappear. I have no explanations - only questions. Sally and Jeff - I'm so sorry.
I am truly grateful for every single smile that little kiddo gave me - I only wish we could have had many more. Love and hugs Sal and Jeff.

19 comments:

ariel said...

Oh my God. I'm so sorry.

SOe said...

It´s so sad! But think about it this way: He´s now in heaven and celebrates his birthday with the angels.

Nessa said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

lime said...

the grief is still so recent and this is an important day. don't apologize for needing to express that grief. many hugs and prayers for comfort for you and your family.

TLP said...

I had no idea of your loss. It's 15 years since we lost our son at age 26, and it still hurts a lot.

I'm so very sorry for you all.

Kelly said...

We will NEVER stop missing our lost loved ones, no, not for a day. Don't we think of Mom every single day?...."Oh Mom, did you check out Sally's blog today?" or "Mom would have loved that", or "I need to tell Mom about this...." or "Let me take your picture for Grandma....". I always picture her smiling face. And she's not the only one. Now we will miss Joshua every day too. The grief cuts like a knife. Thankfully, God has given us such love and special memories to soothe and bring us laughter in the midst of the tears. A balm that many in this world do not have. What a blessing to have such wonderful family and friends to comfort and encourage those of us still facing the day to day ratrace and struggles of life. Our family, with all of its foibles and imperfections is still such a great family!! So glad we all have each other!!!! :D

sister celtic said...

I would be insulted if I could not grieve with your family. Peace be w/ you always. Love to all. I have the best audio tape for Sally and Jeff and all the family, Will Copy and send also there is an interesting story behind it you won't believe. Love to all.

Crabby said...

Aw. Not too sad. Appropriate and healthy. You should express your grief. It's a natural thing and my prayers are with you all.

Autumn Storm said...

I can only imagine the sadness, you all must be feeling. I am glad to know however that your family is so close, that you are united in your love and grief and that you will be able to help one another. Hugs to you, Terry.

EBEZP said...

Thinking of you Terry. Such terrible grief but you all have each other to support each other and judging by the reaction here some people who you've never met will help you through it too.
Hugs from across the pond.

jillie said...

It will make those smiles and hugs he gave even more special.

Love and hugs to you and your family!

XOXOXOXO

Top cat said...

oh terry that's so sad, I'm so sorry this tragedy has touched you and your family.
My deepest thoughts go out to all of you.
tc

tsduff said...

Thank you all each and every one of you so much for stopping by - it means a whole lot to me. Your words are so comforting... even as the tears keep coming and coming. As Ebezp said, people I don't even know are holding out a hand of comfort to me - it is deeply appreciated.

Doug said...

I'm still sorry, Terry. It would be a sadder life that was easy to forget.

neva said...

Terry, my heart breaks every time i think about this terrible loss. how i wish i had words that would magically lift your spirit, in hopes of making things "better". alas, i do not. that said, i agree with Doug, for the greater tragedy would be in NOT remembering the smile of a child who helped brighten the lives of all who knew him, during the short time he spent in your midst. xox

Minka said...

This is your realm, your place and whoever comes here, feels saddened by association. He sounds like the kinda kid that should be remembered and I am glad you got to share those laughs and tears you did share. this just serves as a reminder to myself that any day with your loved one could be the last, so make sure that loved one knows what he/she means to you.

*Penguin wraps flippers around Tsduff*

tsduff said...

Doug - thanks. You are perfectly right about that.

Neva - thanks to you too. You have lightened my spirit - puppies are good at that.

*Penguin flippers - *smiles blearily through the fresh tears....* xo

:P fuzzbox said...

I am sorry for your loss. It is good that you remember the smiles and the good times. That is small comfort, I know but can make a world of difference. God Bless.

tsduff said...

:P Fuzzbox - thank you for stopping by - I've missed seeing you around. I can't visit your place when I'm at work... a strict no no :O Pretty funny post today :)